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Come Undone
You and Paula dodge soldiers to make it to your rendezvous point Cast * Maxine Myers * Janine De Luca * Sam Yao * Paula Cohen Plot Run Like The Wind Everyone's agreed: it's a trap. That doesn't stop Maxine being upset that your group can never catch a break. At least the soldiers haven't spotted you and Paula, so you can hide in a nearby copse. Head For The Church Janine reassures Maxine that it's perfectly normal to have a little wobble after danger has passed and you feel safe again. The soldiers are spreading out so you and Paula head for a church. Check Out The Van Sam, Maxine, Paula and Janine try to decide where this apocalypse rates in the grand scheme of things, when Sam spots a little van with the word 'Laundry' written on it. Visible For Just A Moment Due to the diversion, you and Paula are not where you should be, and need to let the driver of the golf cart see you. That does mean the soldiers might see you too, so you'll have to be fast. All Be In Danger Hiding in position near some houses you and Paula stand up when Janine gives the word. The 'Laundry' van sees you and throws out a package you'll need to grab before the patrols do. Down That Alleyway According to Sam the soldiers' presence was just a coincidence, as the only drama from the bug in Ian's office is about his food. Paula spots the package so you dart down an alleyway to get it. We Are Undaunted Away from the soldiers with the package secured, you open it up to find two sweaters and a note. The note confirms Sigrid's upcoming election is rigged, but more surprisingly also mentions an offer to parley with the Exmoor Militia. S05E24 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript gunshots SAM YAO: Right. So, what do we think – trap? JANINE DE LUCA: Trap. PAULA COHEN: Trap. SAM YAO: Maxine? MAXINE MYERS: Huh? SAM YAO: Mm, do you not think it’s a trap? MAXINE MYERS: What? No, it’s obviously a trap. I mean, what I don’t get is why they’re not on Five and Paula already. JANINE DE LUCA: Perhaps Tom’s ploy distracted them. MAXINE MYERS: I mean, is it too much to ask? Is it? After all we’ve been through – mind control, and plasmapheresis, and I thought Paula was dead, and you thought I was dead, and we all thought Five was dead, and Paula keeps letting herself get bitten, and all our friends are trapped in a prison camp with a lunatic in charge, and Owen is dead, and I really kind of always liked him, and I hoped he’d be happy. And I gave birth to a baby in a field, Sam! In a field full of land mines. I mean, is it too much to ask that we could catch a freaking break and to get a trip to the launderette without it turning out to be a freaking trap? I mean, is it, though? Is it? JANINE DE LUCA: Now, Doctor Myers, please try… what am I talking about? No, of course it’s not too much to ask. The whole situation is grotesquely unfair, and I can hardly stand it myself. None of us can. But for whatever reason, the Minister’s soldiers haven’t spotted our runners yet, so we’re going to win this one. Runners? PAULA COHEN: Maxie, we’re going to find a way home to you, I promise. JANINE DE LUCA: Of course you are. On my mark, run like the wind for that small copse of trees. Three, two, one. Run! JANINE DE LUCA: There, now. Doctor Cohen and Runner Five have made it to that copse unscathed and unobserved. MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, yeah, I see that. sighs I am sorry. I usually try to see the funny side. I tell myself every day, just enjoy this day! You don’t know you’ll get another. Just enjoy what you have. And we’re more secure now than we have been in months, and Runner Five is home, so I don’t know why this little thing has just… JANINE DE LUCA: It’s very common. One holds together until one feels safe. When I came back from Algeria, I was perfectly competent in the field, and on the transport home. It was only when I reached England that I fell apart. I don’t want you to think I’m saying that you’ve fallen apart. I’ve always admired your courage and fortitude. MAXINE MYERS: No, I understand. Thank you. PAULA COHEN: You’re a good commanding officer, Janine. We don’t tell you that enough. JANINE DE LUCA: I’m grateful for your feedback. SAM YAO: Do you… do you want a hug? JANINE DE LUCA: What? No! SAM YAO: No! I mean Maxine. Do you want a hug? MAXINE MYERS: Yeah. YAO and MAXINE MYERS hug PAULA COHEN: whispers She hasn’t been sleeping, Five. God, I blame myself. I’m up half the night anyway. Zombie physiology. And between taking turns with Sara and thinking I need the company… loud Janine, are we clear to move again yet? JANINE DE LUCA: Hmm. Yes. The soldiers are spreading out, but we’re going to route you around them. Head for the church at your 12 o'clock. See it? PAULA COHEN: Got it. JANINE DE LUCA: Run. bell rings SAM YAO: Huh, that’s weird. The bell in the church is ringing. MAXINE MYERS: Some people left them loose to ring - you remember? - if there were zoms in town, like the old plague bells. SAM YAO: Oh, yeah. laughs Yeah, I’d forgotten that. Man, it’s been an eventful apocalypse, hasn’t it? MAXINE MYERS: What, compared to all the other apocalypses you’ve been in? SAM YAO: Yeah, well, I mean, on a posh accent I mean, this apocalypse is adequate as far as it goes, Maxine, but really, the ? and rotten flesh are a little obvious, don’t you think? One did prefer the subtlety of the uh, of the uh, voice oh, what’s the less showy apocalypse? MYERS laughs PAULA COHEN: Black death? JANINE DE LUCA: Nuclear winter? MAXINE MYERS: Asteroid collision? SAM YAO: Laundry. MAXINE MYERS: laughs Oh, the laundry apocalypse! I thought we were never going to talk about the time that Sara managed to get poop in her hair. SAM YAO: No, no, not launderette, laundry. Laundry! Look, over there. A van, coming over the hill, with the word “laundry” written on it. Guys, could it be that the laundry we were supposed to find was not the launderette, but that van? groan PAULA COHEN: Well, there are zombie boy choruses behind us now, Five. I say we head towards the village to check out the van. bell rings PAULA COHEN: Okay, I think we’ve lost the zoms. Or, well, they sort of came apart at the knees. What can you see, Sam? SAM YAO: Yeah, so, there’s a little white van with “laundry” written on it approaching the village slowly. Uh, I think it’s one of those, you know, those modified electric golf carts the Ministry sometimes use to hand out election materials. MAXINE MYERS: I can’t believe Sigrid’s actually going through with this election. She’ll find some pretext to call it off. SAM YAO: Yeah, probably. She just wants to look legit. Anyway, Five, that golf cart van must have spotted the soldiers too, and you’re not in position where they expected, so… PAULA COHEN: You want us to make sure the van can see us? MAXINE MYERS: But then the soldiers might see them too. JANINE DE LUCA: Doctor Myers, you’re a valuable member of this team. If this mission is too difficult for you… MAXINE MYERS: I know. I should get out of the comms room. JANINE DE LUCA: No. If it’s too difficult for you, I will abort. We will find another way. MAXINE MYERS: Oh. Oh, I see. Janine, I never thought you… No, it’s fine. Paula, Five, if you head toward those houses to your right, you should be visible for just a moment, but you have to get there fast! PAULA COHEN: Maxie, are you sure? MAXINE MYERS: Yeah. Run! SAM YAO: All right, okay. You’re in position now, guys. So, when I say, if you stand up just for a second, the person driving that van should see you. MAXINE MYERS: Give them a smile, Paula. They won’t be able to look away. PAULA COHEN: laughs You always say these things because you know I’m English and it makes me blush. MAXINE MYERS: laughs I love it when you blush. JANINE DE LUCA: Five, Doctor Cohen, stand up now. rustles Now crouch behind the wall again. SAM YAO: Yes, yes! They’re chucking a package out the van and out over the fence. Ah, that is clever. You’ll be able to run down and pick it up using the fence as a screen, but you have to be quick, or one of the patrols will find it, and then we’ll all be in danger. Run! SAM YAO: Hey, I think this was all just a stupid coincidence. They must just be on maneuvers. I just had a listen to that bug Steve planted in Ian’s office, and they’re not talking about you at all. Listen. beeps IAN GOLIGHTLY: Will someone please explain to me what this horrible meal is supposed to be? STEVE SISSAY: That’s beef stew with dumplings and vegetables. It’s what all the troops are getting now. Sir, the Minister’s ordered them in as per the nutrition plan for her elite troops and for the people manning the mechanical diggers. IAN GOLIGHTLY: Well, it’s fine for the troops and for the mechanical diggers, but not for me. Where are my spiced plums? Where’s the pheasant pie? STEVE SISSAY: That’s, uh, all we’ve been sent from London, sir. No special food for you, I’m afraid. IAN GOLIGHTLY: There must be some mistake. I’ll contact her at once. Why are you standing here staring at me? All of you, get out! opens and closes Now, open Rofflenet. She’ll have replied, it’ll be fine. She’ll have replied to our last three e-mails, won’t she, Ian. Yes, she will, Ian. There’ll be a message saying there’s a vial of the Wakened Land serum from Finland on its way to me right now in a special van all of its own, and a hamper of all of my favorite treats. Just refresh it again, Ian, there’ll be a message there, just refresh it again… beeps SAM YAO: laughs Sounds like sanity city over there as usual, but no mention of you, or tracking you down. I think we’re in the clear. PAULA COHEN: Five, I see our package. I’ll keep watch. You run down that alleyway, get it, bring it back, and then we’re out of here. Be quick. PAULA COHEN: Oh, that was quick work, Five! Okay, let’s get moving out of here. JANINE DE LUCA: If you head west now, you’ll be screened by the fence until you’re over the brow of the hill. We’ll guide you home, avoiding the soldiers. SAM YAO: See, Maxie? Everyone’s coming home safe. MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, thank you. Janine, thank you. SAM YAO: Well? Paula, Five, don’t keep us in suspense! What’s in the package? Is it a ?? I always used to love ?. rips PAULA COHEN: Oh. A couple of sweaters. Must be to keep up the front as a laundry. Wait, there’s a note inside one of the arms. rustles Oh good. Well, they’ve confirmed what we suspected. The election is a ploy. Sigrid’s main rival in this election is one of her stooges. He’s planning to make a series of gaffes so she’ll be elected no matter what she does. MAXINE MYERS: Oh. Well, I see. That’s um… okay. We’re building up trust like you said, Janine. There’s no reason this message would be anything special. PAULA COHEN: Just a second. There’s something on the back. rustles Oh. Oh, right. SAM YAO: Blooming heck, we can’t see what it is, Paula. Just read it out! PAULA COHEN: It says, “The Exmoor Militia accept your invitation to parley.” Janine, did we invite the Exmoor Militia to parley? JANINE DE LUCA: We need allies if we’re to defeat Sigrid. You all know. We need powerful allies. SAM YAO: Yeah, but we’ve been going around dressing up like the Exmoor Militia and convincing Sigrid they’ve been attacking her, haven’t we? JANINE DE LUCA: I have not mentioned that to the Exmoor Militia. MAXINE MYERS: And do you know whether the people with the reputation for ruthless violence and every reason to be ticked off with us really want to parley, or are they just up for taking some mafia-style vengeance on us? JANINE DE LUCA: That is unclear at this juncture. We may have to resort to subterfuge. PAULA COHEN: The note says, “Wear these sweaters to identify yourselves.” And there’s a day and some coordinates. Here. Take a sweater, Five. Look, there’s an insignia over the breast, and a motto. It says, “We are undaunted.”Category:Mission Category:Season Five